A response from Nightlight

Hey all! 

So this morning I received an email back from NightLight in Thailand about volunteering with them! Its maybe not as great as I had hoped however its also a lot better than it could've been... Have a little read for yourself what they wrote back....

' Thank you for you interest in volunteering with us at NightLight Bangkok. Sounds like God has some great plans for you.  We do not normally take volunteers for less than a 3 month commitment, but since we might be light on staff this Summer, we may be able to make an exception. Please note, however, although all female volunteers are welcome to join us on our twice weekly outreaches to the red-light district, the majority of work we have available for short term volunteers during the day is administrative. Volunteers must come with a heart to serve and learn in various capacities. If you are still interested, I can e-mail you our application package. Once sent back with your references, we will be able to consider you for a volunteer position with us this Summer. '

Im slightly disappointed because the idea of lots of administrative work doesn't appeal to me, especially because Ive come to learn that my heart really is for the heart of the action with the women on the street. However Im delighted because they're actually giving me the opportunity to come despite it being more short term than usual - and how handy that they're short of volunteers this summer! Haha :) 

Despite my slight reluctance to the administrative side of things, at the end of the day I want to serve and if thats the way they need me most of the time then thats fine... Plus God has so obviously called me there that if Im able, even if its not doing what I had in mind all of the time, Im going to go still because he clearly has reasons for wanting me there. 

It sounds like I would still get the chance to regularly participate in outreach which is great and that excites me a lot and so Im currently just trying to see things in Gods bigger picture. Perhaps if Thailand is the country he wants me in in the future he just wants me to have a taste of the culture and language etc first before getting stuck into work.... Im not sure.

Either way this is an exciting development as it shows Thailand should still be able to go ahead! 

So please, if you feel you would like to, pray with me for revelation as I continue to pursue this, that God would keep leading me along the right path and that his will would be done. Pray for peace of mind and a sense of things being right as I proceed to apply with them, but also that God would make it clear to me if there are things that aren't right. 

This is a journey of faith and I'm so glad you're on it with me, do email or comment below if you have any questions you want to ask me :) 

Elle xxx

New Dreams and Adventures on the Horizon

Well, dear friends! What a while its been!!
I know this blog ended up quite empty for the last few months of my Gap Year but I hope you can understand that things were truly crazily busy and I simply didn't have time amongst other issues which prevented me from posting.
Buuuuut, IM BACK! I don't know how long for, but I figured that this blog is the best way to keep all of you, who were and hopefully still are interested in the adventure God is leading me on, up to date :)

There were oh so many things that God taught me whilst I was away in Guatemala and Canada surrounding a whole range of things, but what I wish to discuss today are the ways in which he guided me and has since been guiding me, towards his future plans for me.

In my last two months or so of my time in Guate, I thought quite a lot about what God had in store next. I didn't want to just get back to England and stop serving the people he has given me a passion to help. In this thought there was a particular organisation and country I couldn't get off my mind and felt drawn to exploring, but every time I started thinking seriously about it I just felt God urge me to wait, it wasn't the right time. So after some struggle with understanding why, I let it be and trusted that God would reveal his intentions to me when the time was right.

And just that he did! But let me give some more info first....

In September I began my course in Social Work at the University of Nottingham. For the many who don't know, God had a very directional hand in my winding up on this course, in this city. As with many God influenced life events, there were many times when I really didn't understand his purpose and got frustrated and impatient and confused... but I can honestly put my hands up in shame and declare how silly I was to yet again doubt that God didn't have it all worked out for me perfectly! Nottingham is literally ideal for me! I'm in a church that I love with all my heart which keeps me in the exact spiritual place that God taught me to be in whilst I was away. Along with this and all the amazing friends God has gifted me here, there is an organisation here called Jericho Road which basically does exactly the same work as the ministry in Canada did. Im currently in the application process for volunteering with them and hopefully soon will be able to join them on the streets of Nottingham a few nights a month and in their day centre a couple of days a month, to reach out to the broken women that need to know Gods love here in England.

Whilst I absolutely love and am thankful for the way in which God is using me here in Nottingham I know that Nottingham is not where God wants me forever and that this set-up of life is only temporary. I don't know how long I'll be based in Nottingham, or at least England, before God calls me away to the work he has prepared for me over-seas but I am certain that when the time is right, whether thats in 1 year after graduating or 10 or 30, it will happen.
Due to still feeling quite definitely that Gods plans for me haven't changed but are still heading towards this goal I want to continue pursuing this and pushing doors to see where they and God will lead me.

This brings me back to what I discussed before. Long story short is that basically in December, the small CU group for my halls (Nine20) had a missions night where a few of us who had taken gap years shared a little about our experiences and what God taught us and challenged us with. One of the girls in our group had previously done mission with an American, who happened to be in England, and so he happened to do a little talk for us as well as share his testimony (it was pretty incredible!). Now he had never met me before, and in none of what I shared with the group did I mention future plans or even the years of Gods direction leading up to my gap year, so he basically had no information on me other than what I had shared about my time in the refuge and the ways I was challenged personally. After the evening had finished, he asked me if he could prophesy over me and I said yes. In his prophesy he spoke out some really amazing things and declared some incredibly scary but exciting ideas.

For the few months prior to this event I had been praying a lot about Gods next steps for me and just thinking a lot about where God intends for me to be based. I didn't share these thoughts with anyone. On my heart was East Asia, especially Thailand, Cambodia and The Philippines. I was doing loads of research into projects and organisations in these countries but just didn't felt spiritually led to any of them. All but one. God placed back in my mind the desire (that I referred to before) of working in Thailand with an organisation called Nightlight. I had been seriously considering taking a trip to Thailand this summer to work with them and serve and just test the waters to see if Thailand, or Nightlight could be in Gods plans for me, or even to allow myself to make connections through the experience to other opportunities. But I really wasn't sure and just didn't feel like I was hearing a definitive answer from God, despite my fervent prayer.
But then I had the prophesy, and no word of a lie, he said, 'I just really feel like Gods pleased with you for considering a trip in the Summer and he wants to say just go for it and do it... and I also just have the sense that he wants you to go to Thailand and theres an organisation I know called Nightlight and I just think he wants you to go there and serve there'.... and he continued on to say some other things but OH MY GOLLY GOODNESS?! I can't really get it any clearer than that can I?!

(Sorry, I didn't really tell you that story in short, haha - you should remember from before how much I waffle so you can't say you weren't warned ;)
But now we come to the conclusion of all of this...)

Im currently waiting on a response from Nightlight in Bangkok to an email that I sent to them discussing my situation and my desire to serve with them. Until I hear back from them I'm just in a state of waiting. And this is where you guys come in. If you feel led to, then I would love and appreciate nothing more than you guys praying for me in this exciting but uncertain time! Please pray for patience and peace as I wait to hear back from them, and ultimately please be praying that Gods will be done.
If things don't work out with Nightlight, it will be pretty confusing and frustrating but I have faith that all of this is working towards something greater and so I'm just trying to look at the bigger picture.
I want to keep you all as updated as possible so I will try and send out updates when I have them :)
 From experience with Guatemala, I know that when God wants something to happen he will provide the means for it to happen. A big obstacle for these potential plans is money. As a student, despite my dedication to minimal living, I only just have enough money to live on, and so consequently there isn't any spare to be spending on a trip to Thailand... I have faith that God will sort this out, but I would love for you to all be praying in faith alongside me concerning this matter. Finance can be a source of great stress so please pray that I would remain faithful and reliant on my Father who looks after me. Whilst I don't feel comfortable asking directly for financial support for this trip, bearing in mind so many of you made such generous contributions to my gap year, I instead just ask you to consider over the next months as this all unfolds whether there are any ways in which you can potentially support me if a trip in the summer is to occur, both financially and in other ways...

Thats about it for now - sorry it was a long one but that was never going to change was it, haha! ;) Love you all and hope that everyone is in good health and spirits as we head on into February tomorrow.

Blessings,

Elle :) xxx

On The Line

So a couple of weeks back now, I took a trip to 'La Linea'/'The Line' which is a place in Zone One of Guatemala city where a railway line used to be. Now its abandoned, along with all the trains, and filled with dirt, just some metal in the road. The purpose of La Linea is no longer trains, but prostitution. I went with 3 others who run a small ministry there for the women, who I was put in contact with through one of the board members at El Refugio. They go there every Tuesday and put on a short bible study. So not to get all confusing, I'm just going to talk through the day for you.

After being picked up, we made our way through all the morning traffic and to Zone One and eventually to La Linea. The first part of the road was practically empty and I was looking around for where everyone was meant to be. Then in one big rush it came. Suddenly we were passing door after door after door, all open, and the majority with a woman stood in the doorway or laid on the bed in sight. We parked up and without getting killed by the passing traffic in the very narrow road, managed to get into the small house that they rent to base the ministry in. It is the only house on the whole road that isn't used for prostitution. And that really is shocking baring in mind how many houses there are. We set everything up, and then me and the man of the group went out onto the street with a big pot of chewing gum. We stopped by every open door, to give those inside a pack of gum and to invite them to the bible study starting at one. The group have been coming for 6 years now so are well known 'gringos' (americans/white foreigners) and so we were received well by all of the women we stopped by, a lot of whom we had small conversations with aside from our invitation. There were of course many rooms however that we had to go past as the door was closed. One of the women I spoke with told me that the average rate for a customer is about Q25 which is about £2... For that reason I guess it was no surprise that on our way round, we passed many groups of lingering men. All there for one reason. No exceptions. As I said, every house is used for prostitution so they have no other business than indulging themselves in just that. There are no shops or nothing. A few people told me, including the group I was with, that the estimated number of women working on La Linea is about 300, but also that that's an underestimation and there are likely to be a lot more behind the scenes working too. Unfortunately we didn't have enough time to go round the whole of La Linea as we had to be back for one in order to start the study as it happens during the womens lunch break. And they therefore need to be back straight away so not to miss customers.

Walking up and down the street was a lot different to driving down it. It was right there in my face. I was literally stood in the rooms where 'it' happens. Where the devil resides and thrives. All the women are pretty much naked. I mean, all had underwear on, but that was pretty much it. Some had netted tops over the top, or a mini skirt or something a long those lines. But sexy(,dirty and torn) underwear with high heels and lots of make-up was the general attire. It was the first time in my life that I was actually right where God has called me to be. As much as I love working in the Refuge and am never ever going to saying that abused women are any less important than prostitutes, I know that working with prostitutes is the call that God has put on my life and most definitely on my heart. I have such love and passion for those women. And that became so clear and reconfirmed when I was there, in the midst of it all. I wasn't reading a book, or looking over statistics or supporting a campaign or all the stuff I’ve done before. I was actually there. In it. And it was intense. Amazing. But intense... And yeah, just a whopper of confirmation for me that its in these broken places with these broken women that God has given me passion to replace the devils presence with his.

Anyway, come 1.15 and we have a small room filled with about 14 women. Baring in mind we must've visited about 70 you could see that number as a bit depressing, but its actually pretty amazing. They left their room, locked their door and left their lifestyle for an hour to hear about some Jesus guy. They came, did some colouring (they all apparently love it?!) making sure to stay in the lines and colour the characters faces in the most ridiculous colours possible, ate the cake and drank the fizzy grape juice we served them and acted like normal girls and women for once. They had all changed clothes, and although some still had heavy make-up on, you wouldn't even have known they were selling their bodies for sex as they were sat around tables, giggling and later on singing along to the few Christian songs we sung and then listening intently to the short devotional that one of the group I was with led.

It was short, a little too short for my liking, as I'd have liked more time to actually chat properly with some of the women, but practically they had to return to work, so all headed off pronto.

Something that surprised me was the nugget of info that pretty much all the women who work on La Linea don't actually live there. They work all through the day, other than their hour lunch break, and in the evening lock up and go back home after 'a working day' to their children, families and lives which don't know about what they really do at work. A lot of them don't even live near in the city, but in various villages around the south of Guatemala, some hours away. I guess that just shows you how desperate these women are for work that they have to travel all the way into the city every day to abuse themselves and sell themselves.

And so, that was it. We cleared up, got into the car and left.

The experience has certainly stayed with me and I don't think I'll ever forget it. We didn't do anything specifically amazing or radical. But just meeting and interacting with those women made it. I have such love for them and my heart truly breaks for them and whether I return to Guatemala in the future to help them specifically or end up in another country helping women just like them I know that that's where God has planned for me to be and I honestly cant wait.

Summary of the day, as I've already said, really just has to be: Intense... Amazing, but intense.

(I didn't take these photos, they're off the web, but this is exactly what it all looks like so I could indeed have taken them. This is what my eyes saw literally.)

Since being in Guatemala I have tried to take all opportunities to visit other ministries, mainly those that in some way line up with the future Gods leading me to. This is because I want to experience as many ministries as possible so that I can learn from them in the way they run themselves as well as how they go about their work. Also because I want to gather as many experiences in lots of types of work so that when it comes to it in my future I have more of an idea of what kind of work God wants me doing exactly. Whether that be relaxed and peaceful work in a refuge, or intense work on the streets or whatever it may be. I'll have already experienced those different types of work and so would hopefully therefore be drawn to certain ones where my passions lie. So yeah. Maybe that doesn't make sense to you, but it makes perfect sense to me haha. I know God wants me to work with prostitutes and women in general, but I have no idea yet in what context. I know he's led me onto the path of studying Social Work at university but I have no idea how he wants to use that. I'm just trying to prepare myself for whatever future he has planned for me. Which in many ways I'll never be able to do fully. But I can try ;)

That brings me to tonight. Literally a few hours ago. Its currently 12.30am and I should really go to bed but I'm on such a Jesus high right now that I need to just word vomit all that happened tonight out! So tonight, I went out with a ministry that is a mixture of YWAM, and a load of Guatemalans really passionate about seeing Jesus work miracles in the streets of Guatemala city. I had been meaning to go out with them for ages, but lots of obstacles kept getting in the way. But finally, I went! And it was... just... awesome. My friend José picked me up and we went to the YWAM base and I met the team I'd be going out with. There was 6 of us in total. We had some coffee to get our energy up and then spent a load of time praying for those we were about to spend time with and for the right words and for the spirit to be present and just for Gods will to be done in it all. Then we got into a mini bus and headed to Zone One. Not near La Linea though, Zone Ones a pretty big place!

When we got there, we pulled up and as we offloaded a huge dispenser full of attol (a drink normally made from rice or corn) onto the side of the street, we got surrounded by tons of homeless guys. The youngest probably being about 10 and the oldest about 80. They were all excited to see us and were (apparently) their normal cheeky selves as they asked for more and more sweet bread from me. As the only girl around for a few blocks, and a white one at that, it was a little bit intimidating at first. A lot of the guys around my age were being a little … um … inappropriate to me. But once they actually realised I spoke Spanish we just ended up having a bit of a joke around and it ended up being quite nice. Although that didn’t stop a guy called Christian, who seemed to like to wiggle his eyebrows at me a lot, hugging me for an uncomfortable amount of time when we left as well as asking for my number (which for the record, I didn't give him)!

Like with La Linea, I was right there in it. And it was intense. But not quite so intense, I guess maybe cause its not where my passions lie as much. But still intense, haha!

All the guys were bone thin, hairy and dirty. The clothes they were wearing were pretty much all they own and therefore also dirty, ripped and battered. Fair to say about 99% of them were drunk or high. Most of them had a scrunched up tissue in hand which was soaked in pure alcohol which you are meant to buy to use for medical reasons. All night they all would be constantly inhaling from it, just to keep them on a fuzzy note. As if Spanish isn’t already a task, it was certainly a big challenge trying to understand teeth-less, drunk, street talking men! But I made the best of it, and followed what I could. Only really struggled when play fights started and I couldn’t work out if it was just in jest or serious! :/ One thing that really humbled me was that so many of them were asking for extra bread and attol so that they could give it to the stray dogs that are their neighbours on the streets as such. Its the kind of act you hear of a lot, but when you actually see it, you suddenly see the act of kindness in a whole new light. They are sacrificing that food, which they could hold onto for tomorrow, preventing hunger for another day, and instead giving it to the stray dogs?! Its mad when you think about it. But also puts things into perspective. If they can so willingly give their opportunity of food to dogs, what is their in our privileged lives that we too can easily give up? Or rather, what should be able to give up easily for the survival of others?

So after snacks and a chance for me to get to know some of the guys (the team I went with already know them all after many years of coming every Wednesday night) we went around the corner, and played a 4 against 4 football game by street light, quickly getting out of the way any time a car passed. Not knowing we were going to be playing I had put on flip flops for ease, but they definitely hindered my playing... and I'm not exactly a good player anyway! But I did on one occasion neaaaaarly score a goal. And by that I mean that the ball unluckily decided to go on the other side of the bin bag goal post... :( Made the guys take me a bit more seriously though, haha. Afterwards we sat down on the pavement, about 15 guys left at this point, and a guy from the team called Carlos preached for a few minutes about the lost sheep and at the end did the weekly routine of asking who was ready to leave the streets. What was heart breaking was that so many of the guys have accepted Christ into their lives and want to leave but don't believe its possible and don't believe Gods big enough to make it happen. Bare in mind that the majority of the guys have lived all their lives on the streets, or like 47 year old Juan I met, most of his life at 36 years. They've all been through horrible things as they've suffered violence, near death, hunger, witnessed friends be murdered or had to be violent themselves. Juan for example was slurring a story about 3 years ago about how he got the scar that runs from his left ear to right cheek, right across his face, as well as the scar running down from the middle of his chest to his belly button. Both caused by the machetti of a guy accusing him of stealing from him which moments later murdered his best friend, who im told had much potential for leaving the streets and making something truly great out of his life.

After the message and as we were praying for them all I looked up a moment and saw that all of the guys were really into it. Even without them saying it you can see that they desire nothing more than to leave. They were praying hard, willing for their lives to take a turn. After the prayer, a guy called Manuel who was sat next to me looked up to me, with such hurt in his eyes and asked me if id pray specifically for him. He put one of my hands in one of his and my other on the top and his other over his eyes as he tried not to cry. I happily prayed for him. But afterwards chatted to him to. I explained to him that things are never gonna change until he actually believes that God is able to free him from this life and that when he does believe that he has to let him do that to! I am fully aware he was high and I know that that will have influenced his behaviour. But it didn't change his genuine desperation to change and for a new god filled life.

As it came to the time for us to head off I felt so blessed to have so many of the guys asking if id be coming back, saying they hope I would and all wanting to hug me goodbye. Just in one night Id built relationships with these guys. And sure, they're not prostitutes and not exactly where my passions and life call lies, but I seriously loved tonight and its been opened my eyes to street work.

As I said before, they're all experiences I'm adding up to form an idea of what Gods got in store for me. Hopefully I'm going to be returning every week until I leave as I really did love it and felt like God was really working in me and through me. Maybe its cause I'm not doing it in my own language, maybe it was because they were all high, but it just felt so easy and great to chat to them about Jesus and be honest with them about the fact they need him. Its so hard back home to do just that with friends and although I haven't ever tried for fear, I imagine it would be just as hard if not harder to talk to strangers about Jesus too. But I think in reality it was the simple fact that I had the holy spirit working within me tonight and he was the one doing the talking. That fact is something I definitely want to take back with me to England.

Anyway, its now 1.20am, and I haven't even spell checked this yet so Id better leave it there! I just wanted to share those two experiences with you and hopefully I haven't word vomited too much all over the place! I just needed to get it out! Haha.

Things to be thankful for:

• For these two opportunities along with the ones I haven't mentioned, to go out and experience new ministries and new ways God is working and can work in me.
• For the ways he has opened my eyes and taught me through these experiences
• For the way he is using this year as a tool to prepare me for my future

Things to be praying for:

• For the women on La Linea. That they would come to know Jesus and his healing and his freedom. They they would accept him into their lives and let him save them from their current situations. Also that they would be able to learn their worth as women and children of God and know that they are so much more than an objectified body.
• For the men that I met tonight on the streets. That God would move in their hearts to lead them to finally making the decision to leave their past lives behind them and enter into new lives of freedom in Jesus.
• Especially be praying for the man I prayed for, Manuel.
• For all the ministries I have been lucky to go out with. That God would continue to bless and guide their work and that the Holy Spirit would fill all that they do.
• That God would use my last month in Guatemala as well as my time in Canada and back in England to teach me more and prepare me for my future, whenever that's due to begin!

Answer Time!

Hey folks,

Thanks to all of you who responded to my last blog 'Question Time' and messaged me with lots of lovely questions for me to get my teeth into! 
In this blog, cleverly titled 'Answer Time', Ill be answering them all to the best of my ability.
Hopefully, being a little different to usual, it will be a fun read and give insight into areas of my Guatemalan life that I don't talk about much in my normal blogs... 

And so, without further ado.... Enjoy! :)


----------------------------------------------------

How do you travel around?

In general, on a day to day basis I use the buses. And when I say buses I mean pimped up old american school buses - once yellow and for little kids to sit in nicely, and now mean, loud, honking, black smoking, packed buses. Oh the joys they are! They do provide quite a bit of entertainment at times ;) 
I do however take the odd taxi when its dark as the buses are a lot more risky at night in terms of robberies etc. I prefer to stick on the safe side! 

What do you miss about home?

Golly, lots of stuff!

The main big thing would have to be church. Gee I miss the SBC crew buckets! Especially my dear youth group. This time away has seriously made me realise how much I love them all. They're literally my second family. They get me, y'know? And I don't have to try with them, I can just be myself and comfortable, and ridiculous and stupid most of the time too, haha. I can turn up to church in my pjs, with hair scraped back, with no make up, or my slippers on (trust me, it happens way top often) and I don't even have to think about it. But here I have to try. I have to try make sure people don't think I'm crazy (even if I am!) and be presentable on a Sunday morning. And I just miss the community at SBC. The way I know everyone, and have done for 19 years in most cases. I miss Spotlight (the girls bible study) where we talk about everything from in depth details of pregnancy to doctor who to eventually the bible. So yeah. Church is a biggie.

But then its the silliest little things too that really make me miss the familiarity of home.... like oranges that are practically pip-less in comparison to the oranges here which no joke, have about 30 pips in each one! The ease of putting toilet paper in the toilet and not in a bin. The action of entering the shower without having to search around for cockroaches first. The convenience of being able to buy a sandwich in almost any place you are (here its either a restaurant which is rare, or street food which is deadly for an ibs suffering, foreign stomach!). Oh and I miss my onsie :( </3

So yeah. Little things. But things that become significant after a while and make you miss home a tad bit.

What do you think you'll miss most about Guatemala?

I honestly think Ill just miss the friendly-ness of the majority of this whole country! I enjoy being able to say Buenos Días / Buenas Tardes / Buenas Noches to any one I pass in the street. In England its like a no-go-zone unless its with a friendly looking old person! You can pass the same person on the same street every day for years and still never say so much as good morning to them. I just think that's a little sad. 

And although it still sometimes makes me feel a little awkward if I don't know the person very well, I like the fact you greet everyone and say goodbye to everyone with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Its much better than the cold 'hey' you say as you just look at the other person :P (apologies in advance if I bring the habit of hugging everyone back home - but if I do, just go with the floOoOoOow ;))

And yeah, just how lovely everyone is! People are always making cakes, bread, tomales or tortillas for each other. Its just nature. I definitely think we should make more cakes for each other. (my favourite is carrot cake if you're wondering....)

What's your favourite thing about Guatemala?

Aside from all of what I've just been talking about, I would have to say I just in general love the colour! In England everything is so brown, grey... rainy and dull..... but in Guatemala every house is either yellow, blue, orange or green.... or, well... any colour you like really! But there is most definitely a lot of yellow houses. I mean the very bedroom I'm sat in right now is bright sunshine yellow! Its almost painful. But seriously. There's flowers EVERYWHERE and they're all so darn pretty. And then all the traditional dress of the indigenous people in Guatemala radiates colour and a lot of the time clashing which just makes everything a lot more headachey but great at the same time ;) As I mentioned, the buses are all pimped out on the outside with a colour theme depending on the destination, but the ones I see every day for example are bright red, often with lots of other crazy mad decorating going on elsewhere. Slightly off topic but worth mentioning - my favourite bus ever in the city I live in has a huge dinosaur strapped to the top. Its just, fab. Makes me happy every time.

Are there any parts of Guatemala you don't like?

I would have to say the thing I dislike most is the thing I've struggled with the most. And that's time. Guatemalans have a well known way of referring to time keeping Guatemalan style... that would be 'Hora Chapina' which translates as 'Guatemalan Time'. So say an event starts at 9... if you were to go by English time, that would mean the event starts at 9.... if you were to go by hora chapina however, the event might not start until 10.30. Depends what Chapins you're with as to how big the delay will be, but there will pretty much always be a delay with Guatemalans. As someone who likes organisation and planning and knowing exactly what's happening, who's going, what time and where and where the meeting point is and how i'm getting there, and all those kinda details, its been a struggle for me to live and work and be friends who live a life of hora chapina. Plans rarely exist and if they do they're only formed maybe the day or two beforehand. However it has indeed been a learning curve for me and has certainly broken me down in my strict need for control in planning and knowing what's going on. This was especially realised today when I had my mentor session with Suzanne and was so relaxed about how I am meant to be doing something with a friend tomorrow but am still waiting on her to tell me time and mode of transport. Normally I'd be freaking out and anxious. And maybe I still am a bit inside. But on the whole I'm cajj about it! Take it as it comes. This is a big thing for me! haha. But its a good change :)

What does an average day for you look like?

I wake up at about 7.30am, get ready, have breakfast, leave to get the bus and generally arrive at my project around 9/9.30am after the small walk I have to do after getting off the bus and paying my Q2 to the driver (16p! barGAIN). Most days its quite quiet when I arrive as all the children are at school and the women are doing various things around the house. I tend to go and sit in the office and chat to Maribel or Deysi for a while (whoevers on duty that day) and eventually do a round of the house to find who's in, greeting them and chatting to them a bit as I find them. I'll often stop longest in the kitchen, as I normally will help with the cooking of lunch. This is a great bonding opportunity with the women as it is often just me and one other woman so we get lots of chance to talk and learn from each other, both in cooking and in culture. The rest of my day is often spent in the work room, making or designing jewellery, often accompanied by Ana or Telma or Elsa who are the women who tend to spend more time making things. We chat and listen to the radio and imitate the funny jingle and belt out our favourite songs (normally quite out of tune... especially them! Its kinda great!). At some point between 11 and 2 we eat lunch and chat more. After lunch I normally get a bit of baby loving with José. We have huggles and I often feed him. I tickle his feet and he giggles. We play aeroplanes and I get a warm feeling inside and then I stop because I realise I'm getting broody :|

Between 3 and 5 I leave the project and try and get the bus home before it gets too packed with the evening rush. Once off the bus and able to breathe I make my way to the house and then on a typical day will chill for the rest of the evening! This normally involves the hammock and a book or my journal, Netflix, my bible study, or quite often my computer screen filled with the lovely face of a friend of family member on skype :) Happy times. I do however sometimes have things on with friends or the church prayer meeting or a trip to someones house for coffee and bread and small talk. Never really know, haha!

What do you do at the weekends?

Well Sundays tend to follow the same pattern - church service at 9.30 (10.00 hora chapina) followed by lots of chatting with everyone afterwards followed by lunch back home at 1.00pm. Every other week I then play frisbee from 3 till 6 with the youth group, normally followed by refreshments and games/top gear at someones house... But the other weeks I tend to just chill as I talked about before. Tends to be the day I do most work on my blog as its the biggest chunk of time I have. And I often go to sleep earlier to try to recover from a tiring week! (every week is tiring no matter what ;))

Saturdays really vary... I normally do my clothes washing in the morning followed by a skype with someone. But from there on it really is different every week! Most often Ill have something organised with Latin Link friends or friends from church. Sometimes I take a trip to Antigua or into the city. Sometimes I just chill at home. A lot of the time Ill get a random outing with my host family to somewhere random. It really does vary! Once a month I have the Latin Link prayer meetings. In the evenings I have Youth Group.

In what ways is life the same?

Well, theres a Burger King, McDonalds and Dominoes in my town... and people are just as obsessed with the unhealthy goodness here too, so I guess thats a similarity!?

But no, in all seriousness thats a hard one to answer. For me I tend to focus more on the differences that there are between life here and life in England than the ways in which is it similar. And so, trying to think of what the similarities are is actually pretty tricky... so tricky in fact that after a few days thinking over it I really don't actually know! Life is just so different in every way. I guess that's why people refer to trips like this as living out of your comfort zone - nothings the same! Nothings similar, nothings 'normal. You will never experience anything here that doesn't surprise you, anger you, make you feel uncomfortable or completely confuse you. 

What has been the most unexpected outcome of your time in Guatemala?

Tough one! I guess there's a few things. But the main ones are related to what my expectations were for my time here before I left the UK. 

I guess its easy for us all to have the mindset of 'there will be hard times but you'll get through them and get so close to god through them'...and we kinda just think of it as an easy process... at least I did... but whilst it is true that there are hardships but god refines us and draws closer to us through it, I don't think many realise just how hard it can get. 

Through my whole time here there have been really difficult situations and things that I've really struggled with to do with the culture, my project, my church, the family, friends, relationships, language, spiritually, all of it. And God has done his bit and come through and helped me get past all of them in their own time, and I've definitely grown closer to him through each one, but it has still been blooming hard! 

But I guess the most unexpected of all of it is that a lot of the things I've struggled with and that god has been shaping and teaching me in, have been the problems that I had back in England, that I've struggled with for years. I guess I thought that they wouldn't be relevant over here in Guatemala but that's where I was wrong! The biggest struggles have been these old struggles. But Gods been using this time away as a time to really address them. I wasn't expecting that. But I am grateful for it.

What has been your highlight/best experience/best memory so far?

I guess in general my highlights have been the small moments when I'm in the refuge and one of the women or children do something or say something that so clearly lets me know that they accept me and love me and are my friend. It can just be an unexpected hug, a question or comment of how much they missed me over the weekend, them telling me some of their story that they've never confided in me before, or just an enthusiastic greeting. It really is the little things, and I love them so. Makes me feel so blessed to know these women.

Do you have internet where you are living?

I do indeed :) A curse and a blessing though! When I lived in Antigua I didn't which meant a lot of boredom as well as trips to internet cafes, but also meant more reading and early nights. Here having internet means cheaper and better communication with home and the ability to upload photos in a reasonable amount of time instead of in small veeeery long chunks, but also means later nights. For eg - its 8.20pm right now - and I'm writing this. If I didn't have internet to do so I would almost definitely be in bed right now! ;)

What is the time difference between England and Guatemala?

Well, when I came it was 7 hours... shortly after it became 6 which actually made a pretty big difference, but now its back to 7 cause of the hour changing back... which is a big inconvenience! :( But thankfully not much longer to have to deal with it.

How good is your Spanish? Are you still having lessons?

My Spanish aint too shabby! Baring in mind I came to Guatemala with next to nothing, just a bit of vocab, and only did 2 months of Spanish classes (as intense as they were!) I reckon I've done pretty well. I've certainly learnt a lot since finishing my classes and am constantly learning new vocab, phrases, slang and the incorrect but Guatemalan ways of saying things. I still lack on the subjunctive and haven't quite cracked the informal 'you' form - 'vos' which means 'dude' or 'mate'  but these do not in any way make my life hard. I am trying to work on them as they are important in the language, however they're not essential to the language and as I can understand them (just cant really use them myself) I don't ever really feel i'm missing out. As I said, in general communication is now pretty easy for me and its only every occasionally that I really get stuck, pretty much just with vocab when I want to talk about something random i've never come across talking before, for example nail care (came up in a conversation last week and i really struggled with vocab - never really needed to learn the words for cuticle remover etc in Spanish school!). So yeah, its preeeetty swell. And no, I finished my Spanish lessons after two months when I moved to start my project :)

Do you miss anything from your life in Antigua?

Surprisingly enough, I actually kinda miss the time I had alone! Which is topsy turvy due to how sad and lonely I felt because of all that time alone! But I guess I got used to it and began to enjoy it, meaning that on coming to this new family where I have so little privacy and time to myself I kinda miss it. In Antigua I would find myself almost every night, just lying on my back for a couple of hours, just thinking, praying, listening to music or a podcast and just being. Now I just don't have time for that. And when I do, I guess I find myself on the internet. Over the last few weeks I have actually tried to find more time to just be still again. Complete chill out - doing-nothing-but-think mode. And its nice. But yeah. I guess I miss that. That and the safety of being able to go for a walk around the city with no trouble, go and sit in the central park and read. Here its too dangerous to go for a walk casually so i'm basically housebound when I'm not at the project :( 

What's your favourite colour?

Thanks go to Ross Cooper (in Equador with LL) for this corker of a relevant question ;) 

The broad answer would be blue. This is pretty obvious if you were to ever enter my bedroom in England. Which is all blue. And my wardrobe is about 80% blue clothing. Hm. But in specific I would have to say that aqua-y/turquoise-y blue is my absolute favourite. In other words, look at the colour of this blog and there's your answer ;)

What do you eat on a typical day? Do you cook for yourself at all?

Breakfast: Natural yoghurt with pineapple, papaya and banana or cornflakes with milk and a banana. I always do breakfast myself as everyone in the house wakes up at different times so its easier.

Lunch: In the refuge - always depends, but often rice and beans, or deep fried veg and rice, occasionally spag bol. At home - soup to start and then a plate of rice, cold salad and either chicken or beef as the main.

Tea: Occasionally if Dina has made something especially such as dobladas (folded over tortillas with meat or cheese inside) I will eat that, however normally Dina and Victor Hugo are out doing something and dont eat tea until 9pm so I tend to eat on my own around 6ish, most often just having marmite and butter on toast or soup left over from their lunch. I know right, I'm a culinary genius ;)

What’s the nicest thing you've eaten that you’d never had before?

A simple answer, but probably papaya! I don't think I'd ever eaten papaya before coming to Guate, only in yoghurts. But here I eat it every morning and its just, delicious. I still remember my first morning in Guate at Suzannes house and the first time I ate it. Ahhh, such heaven. Nom 

nom nom. :3

What's the worst thing you've eaten that you'd never had before?

Hmm... well, the only thing that really sticks out in my memory would have to be back in Antigua when my host mom would give me raw, cold broccoli covered in vinegar. Obviously I've had broccoli many a time in my life, but not cold. And not drenched in vinegar. Honestly rank!

What's the weirdest thing you've eaten that you'd never had before?

Well the weirdest things I've been served would most definitley have to be chicken stomach, chicken butt, a cows tail and a cows hoof..... But I cant say I tried them all! :/ I have a limit.

What's your favourite Guatemalan food?

Probably 'caldo de res' which is basically soup but with big whole vegetables in it - potato, corn on the cob, guiscille (kinda like a potato), etc and a big piece of beef. Its yummy :)

What food do you miss most from England that you cant get in Guatemala?

Well thats a no brainer. Cadburys. And its ridiculous cause I never really ate it in England. But I guess its that whole 'you want what you cant have complex'. And lets be honest, it does just taste reaaaally good and is the perfect comforter :)

But on a more random note, probably Mug Shots (or cup a noodle if youre Becci Deakin hahahahahahaha). They're just so warm and filling and nommy. Plus they were my staple food all throughout the last few months of college when I lived in my onsie doing Textiles coursework. Here, there's not really anything quick and filling and warm and tasty you can cook up, its all full on, from scratch meals. I mean, c'mon. That's just too much effort ;)

What random UK stuff have you taught Guatemalans?

Probably the most random things I've taught people would have to be the thing I mentioned in one of my blogs before. And that is the teaching of the phrases 'absolutely spiffing', 'poppy cock' and 'hokey kokey' to the older girls at the refuge. Its actually pretty hilarious :) Whenever I have people come visit now all I have to do is do a hand action to the girls and they know exactly what I mean and come out with 'absolutely spiffing' with a not bad English accent and 

the same hand action. Ahhh its just so great. Truly proud of teaching them that haha :D

Has there ever been a day when you have fully known what's going on?

This question was asked by a lady called Hannah who did Stride with Latin Link a while ago for 2 years here in Guatemala. I tell you this because she knows full well that the answer is no! There has never been a day when I fully know what's going on. Its kinda what I was talking about earlier with 'hora chapina'. Guatemalan life is very random and unpredictable and even on the rare occasion you do have a set plan in place and are certain its gonna go ahead, you can bet your bottom dollar that something will go wrong or a detail will be obstructed and that the day will get turned completely on its head! You can think you've got a day free to chill and laze about and end up being taken to a random huge family meal, or a graduation or a wedding. I mean... EVERY DAY at my project I never know what's gonna happen! Some days I turn up and there's a bible study happening or a mission group visiting or something that i've been given no warning about what so ever. Its a crazy life. Honestly. But I secretly do love it so :)

What cultural differences do you note between England and Guatemala?

Golly, everything! Its like what I said earlier, nothing is the same! 

One of the biggest things would have to be regarding manners. Us Brits are famous for our queues, please and thank yous, waiting for everyone to be seated and served before eating, presenting criticisms in a polite manner, biting our tounges, and in general just being rather polite! And I don't mean to say that Guatemalans are rude because at the end of the day they follow a different culture which doesn't have the same norms and values as us Brits and its unfair to place judgement from the eyes of a different culture... but in a Brits eyes they are technically being rude in a lot of occasions. For example, I have on many occasions had my appearance commented on by friends, the family, and women at the project. Not in a nasty way, just bluntly pointed out my flaws, which for them is just an observation, but for me is actually pretty horrible! Makes me self conscious and I just see it as rude... in my English eyes. Its times such as these I really have to keep my eyes wide open and aware to the culture and consider the situation in that light. Its not easy though!

But yeah, that's just one example, there are many more but I'm aware this is getting long now so gonna just leave you with that one :)

Have you made any big cultural or language mistakes?

Language mistakes most definitely! 

The most memorable has to be during my first week of life in Antigua and of Spanish. In Spanish you say literally say 'I have heat' when you are hot (as we would say in English....) because in Spanish if you say the phrase 'I am hot' translated literally that actually means you're sexually aroused.... I hadn't yet clicked with the difference between 'estoy caliente' - I am hot, and 'tengo calor' - I have heat and so made the fatal error of telling my Guatemalan mother that I was sexually aroused, leading to a gasp and face of horror. Thankfully with experience of newbies to the Spanish language she was understanding, but it was still an incredibly embarrassing event for the both of us!

Other language blunders would include telling a girl I liked her beach instead of her t-shirt (playa/playera) as well as asking a man at the market if he sold estufas when what I meant was pantuflas. Estufas = stoves. Pantuflas = slippers. Two very different objects!

What are your top 3 most embarrassing moments?

1. The above mentioned sexually aroused misunderstanding...

2. The time my jeans full on ripped at the crotch whilst I tried to stretch my very unflexible body out of a jam packed bus unveiling my pants for the whole world to see as I then waddled home :/

3. The only other thing I can think of is another bus related incident from back at the beginning of my time here... I was in Alotenango after a day at Nahums project and waiting for the bus with him. When it finally came it was full and overflowing with people, quite literally, and appeared to drive past. But then we realised it had stopped a little up the road, so we started to run for it. Nahum then realised he didnt really have a need to run so stopped and watched me leg it! What happens next is that I get pulled up into the back of the bus through the back door by three men holding onto my arm as i try to clamber up onto the one very high step! Nearly dislocated my hip in the process it was so high to reach! But I managed to get 'in' and was hanging out the back door for the rest of the journey. I got a glance of Nahum back in the street cracking up over what he had just witnessed. And although no one else knew me or really cared, I was very much embarrassed by the ungraceful and unladylike way in which I had just managed to get myself onto that moving, packed bus.

(There are probably so many other moments, in fact, there's definitely many other embarrassing moments I've had in the past 7 months, but I think I've just blocked them out of my memory!)

What did you pack/take but realise now you didn't need?

- Mosquito net

- The majority of my camping gear, especially my water pouch! (only used once when we went camping! other than that, I live a normal life so don't need walking shorts or thermals haha)

- 2 pairs of shorts - apart from it not really being appropriate to wear shorts in public, I just don't feel comfortable using them as i worry about giving off the annoying tourist impression and I want people to take me seriously, so 1 pair for the odd day at the beach i've had would've been enough!

- A money belt - because who wants an itchy money belt strapped around your belly when you're a girl and have a bra? Seriously.

There are other things I know I've thought 'why on earth did I bring that?!' but right now that's all I can think of ;)

What has been the most important thing that God has taught you during your time in 

Guatemala?

Probably just the things he's been teaching me in order to prepare me for a life of mission later on. Here are two quotes from my journal about the kind of things God has taught me:

'This year is an opportunity for god to break me up in my ways of doing things so that I can be prepared for a life of mission, dangerous, scary, confusing, uncomfortable, unfamiliar and potentially alone...'

'Whilst I have learnt Spanish for this year, it doesn't mean that God can be limited to sending me back here to Guatemala or another Spanish speaking country. Why? Because he may have just wanted to show me that I CAN learn another language. I have the ability. I have the ability through him, even though languages aren't at all my strong point. And with this knowledge it is a lot less daunting to be sent to another country later on and have to learn another, probably harder language.'

How have you maintained your spiritual life?

Well personally I listen to podcasts and have been doing Soul Survivors Bible in One Year aswell as the standard praying. There's a little park near the Refuge that I often like to pass through on my way back home, and there in the still and with all the trees and birds I like to chat to God. As well as all this I still do a weekly bible study with the other Strider, Nahum - we are currently coming to the end of 2 Corinthians after going through Romans and 1 Corinthians together in the last few months. Although its been harder since I moved further away I am thankful we are still doing it and are able to continue encouraging each other, challenging each other and learning through each other. I have also maintained contact with my lovely dear friend and mentor Adie from back in England on facebook and skype as well as with a few of my best buds from church and they have been great for praying with me and chatting about stuff and generally supporting me :)

What is your church there like?

I go to an Evangelical Central American church. Its not that dissimilar to SBC to be honest in the feel of the place in that its a similar size and has the same kind of ratio of old to young people. The teachings seem to be pretty sound as well, which is a blessing as a lot of churches here can be a bit dodgy when it comes to prosperity teachings. Worship tends to be fairly modern, there's even a few songs I recognise in there that have been oddly translated, but there's also the odd oldie. The congregation are very passionate, and whilst not over the top, have no shame in lifting up hands, singing out in worship aside from the song, shouting 'amens' and 'hallelujas' in the sermon and in general being pretty responsive without shame. I often feel at SBC we can be quite static and afraid to actually publicly show emotion in our worship on Sunday mornings in fear of being judged or looked at oddly, so it has been refreshing to see people so open and raw before God, unconcerned by those around them. Although I do sometimes wish the amen-ers would be quite and just listen, haha ;)

What are your plans for after Guatemala?

To have a kick ass summer visiting friends and family all over England including to a trip to Edinburgh with Jenny Stewart to visit the Pandas (eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!) as well as going to both Soul Survivor and Momentum, serving on team both weeks. Then in September I have my place secured at Nottingham University to study Social Work and Social Policy for three years. After that? Who knows! (god knows, but still...) We'll find out when we get there :)

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Well, I hope that was educational and entertaining! 

Thanks for reading :) 

Sorry it ended up being a long one, but if you've been following my blogs or know me, you'll have already been aware of the fact that I ramble and cant just give a simple, short answer to anything, haha ;) 

Also sorry if some parts don't make sense, honestly don't have the energy to proof read it!

If there's anything else people want to know, maybe following on from reading this, just pop a comment below, facebook or email me and ill get back to you happily with an answer :)

Until next time, Adios! :) xxx